Survival of the Fittest

No formal introductions, my name is Casey.  My intentions were to pop my “writing” cherry with a stream-of-conscious article on the Super Bowl.  Unfortunately, after a few games of Beer Pong and a few more drinks after that, my recollection of the actual game is spotty at best.  We had a bunch of friends over for the game, a couple Prop-Parlay pools for our entertainment, and about 2 single girls for 5 single guys to fight over.  As one could have easily predicted no one landed either of the girls, the packers won, and we all had hangovers Monday morning.

RE Babe...

So then it was Monday, back to the grind in my 9 - 5 cubicle, and without any ideas.  Then something happened.  Over the course of the work day, I was called by 3 different friends asking for different sorts of relationship advice.  Leon had just had his heart broken the previous weekend with an ended relationship, and turned  to me as the only person he could talk to.  Claire had ended a relationship a month earlier and was about to have her first date since, and she turned to me to give her tips and talk her through her jitters.  And Jill called to discuss a fight she just had with her boyfriend of 6 months.  This guy is her first real Love, and she just wanted to talk through resolving the situation and working things out.  (For all you zombie fans, yes, I intentionally choose 3 Resident Evil characters to protect my friends names!)

*Note:  I apologize ahead of time, I do plan on making this a lighter / comedic column with a slight focus on sports…  But today we are kicking it off serious, again I was too drunk for the Super Bowl.

A little background on myself, I’ve always been a serial monogamous.  From the time I was in 8th grade, I have had a girlfriend within every 6 months (except for my senior year of college!).  However, when you have a lot of relationships, that means you’ve had a lot of “failed” relationships.  Even right now its been a little under a month since my last break-up with my girlfriend of over a year, and I’m still trying to figure out that.

Not this Johnny,
well most of the time.

When I broke up with my high school sweetheart, I was a complete mess.  In college, I had a relationship end at the beginning of my Senior year that took me over a year to get over.  My best friend would come visit me at school to get me drunk and get my mind off of it, but those nights usually ended in long depressing talks (thanks Johnny).  It took me a long time to get over that one, I had to remove her from every aspect of my life just to stop thinking about her.  Out of sight, out of mind.

So I called Johnny to tell him how ironic it was that a bunch of people were turning to me, of all people, for relationship advice.  He responded with, “Whoever is asking you is a complete idiot, you’ve done everything wrong in a break-up with an ex, and have sabotaged all your own relationships.”  The funny thing is he was right.  Though I think I learned from them, right?

I spoke to my Dad next, asking him “why would I be a good person to turn to in this situation?”  He laughed and immediately responded,  “Cause you’re a Survivor.”

So I called up Jill and walked her through her argument with her boyfriend…  Basically playing devil’s advocate, and explaining to her that she is right, but this is how “he sees it.”  (remember boys, 2 rules with women:  1)  Women are always right.  2)  When women are wrong, refer back to rule number one.)  Next I spoke with Claire, she had her HOT date tonight and wanted me to calm her down and give her some tips.  By the way, this was my high school sweetheart, very, very interesting….  Crap, that may have given away her identity to some readers, lets strike that out.  Obviously being a guy, I had never given first date tips to a girl before so I had to think about it.  But I talked her through it, gave her 3 tips, and she had a great date.

Tips for the ladies:

1. Remember he asked you out, so you already know he thinks your HOT…  Confidence.
2. Every time a guy goes on a date, he is feeling that he is the lucky one…  Building that confidence.
3. Order a fun drink as soon as you get there, not beer.  It will help you relax, lighten the mood, laugh, and just be yourself….  Remember, not to many drinks, or that confidence will be two high and most likely panty-less.

• Bonus:  Always make an attempt to split the check, the guy will never let you actually do it, but the gesture will always impress him.  And if he lets you pay, tell him to forget about a second date!

With Leon we went out bowling.  I let out all my personal stories about break-ups, how crappy they made me feel, and what I did to get over them.  I also told him how he needed to cut her off for awhile to get over her.  How that would also be the best way to show her what she is losing.  Some people don’t realize what they have until its gone, the last thing you want to do is be there for her and make it an easy transition for her.  (I learned that one the hard way)  I’m just a 24 year old guy, speaking his mind, and I don’t know much.  But I think I’ve learned a little just from experience.

The journey for Love isn’t at numbers game or just “waiting” for the One.  Its not about being perfect, regretting mistakes, or being afraid of failure.  It’s a game of Survival.  Being able to take it on the chin during each hardship and prepare for the next one.  I realized my friends look to me because they’ve seen me survive the worse.  Love is a game, and so far I’ve managed to Survive.

Keep your head up, and you will too…  (thanks Pops).

 - Casey

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