What Would Charlie Sheen Do?

Charlie Sheen at a LA Lakers game.

   Last night I was watching Charlie Sheen do a 60 minute interview on 20/20 and couldn't help but see the world around us is falling apart.  From Mayan religious believers to Hollywood movie producers we are told 2012 could be it!?!  Not to mention there are open revolts in Egypt and Libya.  If thats too far away for you, how about in our own government.   The Democrats and Republicans are at each others throats and if a fiscal budget is not secured by Friday for 2011 our working government could come to a screeching halt.  

    But most importantly Sports can be in jeopardy as we know it.  Starting at 12 midnight March 4th there will be a Lockout of American pro-football.  And on July 1st the same thing may just happen to the NBA.  So when i listen to Charlie Sheen, I don't think he's crazy.  I think he is just ahead of the Curve.  He sees the surrounding environment, and he is taking action.  I think the entire world can be compared to the MANiac himself.  So i continue to ask my self,  WWCSD, or "What Would Charlie Sheen Do?"  Then I look at the NBA, and I realize most players are already following suit.  Don't believe me?  Just look at some of the following NBA players, and then ask yourself "What Would Charlie Sheen Do?"

(The following are real quotes from Charlie Sheen)

Interviewer: “Some are saying that you’re bipolar.”  WWCSD? Sheen: “I’m bi-winning. I win here and I win there.”

Carmelo Anthony has been keeping his mouth shut all year, not giving much of a clue as to if he was staying or going in Denver.  Although many close to him knew that he wanted to go make a splash in the Big Apple, 'Melo would never openly admit it and continued to hold onto Denver for the money...  $65 million to be exact.  Some would classify that as bipolar, but in reality Anthony is "bi-winning."  Whether he was in Denver or New York, all he did was WIN here, and there, putting both teams in playoff contention.

*Billups gets an honorable mention.  As he steadfast stated he wanted to stay in Denver, he now seems to be enjoying his time in New York, and along with 'Melo he wins where ever he goes.

"[Porn stars are] the best at what they do and I'm the best at what I do. And together it's like, it's on."

  This is for Greg Oden, the man who can't stay on the court and has now become more famous for his D*ck than anything else.  So what??  Its what he does best!  And once that text message gets sent, ITS ON!!!!

"I'm proud of what I created. It was radical. I exposed people to magic. I exposed them to something they're never going to see in their boring normal lives."

  Blake Griffin is a Human Highlight real.  I don't care what you call him, the Ricki Blake Show, Blake Superior, or just BLAKE.  Blake throws down Dunks like Charlie blows lines.  You can't turn on the TV without seeing news on Charlie or a Blake Griffin Dunk.  And the All-Star weekend dunk over the KIA was Blake's Plaza Hotel meltdown.

"Every day is just filled with just wins. All we do is put wins in the record books. We win so radically in our underwear before our first cup of coffee, it's scary. People say it's lonely at the top, but I sure like the view."

  What Would Charlie Sheen Do if he was Kobe Bryant and the Lakers...  All they do is win 5 championships this decade, 16 in franchise history, and Kobe Bryant is slowly passing every scorer in the record books.  Sure they are on cruise control this year, when you win that much its hard not to be.  Kobe knows its lonely at the top, hell even his teammates can barely stand him and he's been sitting on the top for years.

“I’m tired of pretending like I’m not special. I’m tired of pretending like I’m not bitchin’, a total freakin’ rock star from Mars."

  To my boy Dwight Howard.  He has grown tired of smiling and taking it on the chin and acting like he's just another All-Star.  He has come out this year with a vengeance and dominating the league across the board.  He knows he is a freak of nature from another planet (Krypton?), and is now openly saying that if the Magic doesn't recognize that and put players around him, he is gone.  

**Please Dwight, calm down and stop all the LA talk.  If Charlie Sheen can carry Two and a Half men to multiple Emmys, you can surely win us a championship.  Don't go berserk and get the show cancelled!

"I'm different. I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man. Dying's for fools, dying's for amateurs."

   Just look at the Boston Celtics players ages:


Paul Pierce:          33 yrs old  1,044 games played
Kevin Garnett:       34 yrs old  1,270 games played 
Ray Allen:              35 yrs old  1,182 games played
Shaquille O'Neal:  39 yrs old  1,420 games played  (oldest player in the League)


   While these players should be breaking down and dying, the Celtics just won't quit.  They have a different make up, a different heart, they are made of Tiger Blood, man.  Just like Charlie Sheen, you can keep expecting them to break down and fail, but all they do is "WIN".  Kevin Garnett holds the team together, and as Charlie would say "If you’re a part of my family, I will love you violently!"


"I'm not a marriage guy, but maybe the three of us [referring to his two girlfriends] will get married. Oh, now it's a polygamy story."

Say Hello to my Godesses

   For the Frenchman Toni Parker.  The man breaks up his marriage with Eva Longoria by sleeping with her best friend.  Maybe marriage isn't for him, he needs lots of women.  Yet, he is still having a career year.


"Can't is the cancer of happening."

Here Charlie Sheen is directly quoting Kevin Garnett to Charlie Villanueva, WWCSD?

"I got magic and I got poetry in my fingertips."


  Chris Paul who seems to have lost a step, but still is playing the game at a Lights Out level.  He just seems to control every faucet of the game and is a true floor General.  25 years ago this quote would have been for Magic Johnson, and I personally think Chris Paul and Penny Hardaway (bias) are the only men with that same talent since.

"C’mon bro, I won best picture at 20. I wasn’t even trying. I wasn’t even warm."
   Kevin Durant is the youngest person to ever win the scoring title, and he wasn't even trying... With Lebron sharing the load in Miami, and 'Melo now sharing it in New York, there may be nobody for Durant to compete with for years. And he's only getting better.

“I am battle-tested bayonets, bro.”
  

   To Tim Duncan and the San Antonio Spurs who are flying wayyy under the radar and are one of the most battle tested team in the league. With a veteran team like that, and home court throughout the playoffs, they could be making a deep deep run into the postseason.

“Look what I’m dealing with, man, I’m dealing with fools and trolls.”

   For Kevin Love and Steve Nash who are All-Star talents carrying their respective teams on there back. Steve Nash is in his twilight years playing at an all-time high caliber level, with only the "Artist formerly known as Grant Hill" playing on his team. If only he can get traded. Kevin Love on the other hand is stuck in Minnesota as he will set League records for double doubles and rebounding this year. Studs.

"I was banging seven-gram rocks, because that’s how I roll. I have one speed, I have one gear: Go."

   Nothing seems to slow Derrick Rose down. The team has suffered injuries, tough losses, and the media, but D-Rose has them kicking on all cylinders and quickly becoming the tea to beat in the East. D-Rose flies down the lane like an F-18 and seems to be at a faster pace then the rest of the competition. He has one speed, and that may win him MVP.

“You have the right to kill me, but you do not have the right to judge me. Boom. That’s the whole movie. That’s life.”
   Coming to the end, we have to mention Lebron James. Some feel he is egotistical... All of Cleveland hates him... And though they have the right to kill him, you can no longer Judge him. Its time to see if he can win.

"There’s a new sheriff in town. And he has an army of assassins.”

   The Big winner this year was Dwayne Wade. With him convincing all of the Big three to go to Miami, he keeps his leader role as sheriff, and Bosh and Lebron have become his army of assassins. He is really the puppet master behind the whole operation.

   I keep thinking of the Michael Jordan / Charlie Sheen Hanes commercials, and maybe MJ embodied Charlie Sheen best. He was a nut case, that parties, gambles, has tiger blood, is the best, Wins, Wins, and Wins... If the players in the NBA want to be like Mike, maybe its time to ask WWCSD.

 - by KC